I went to the beach last weekend with some office mates. Well, it was actually quite a number of us. The beach is located at the south-western part of Cebu Province called Badian, four hours away from the buzzing city. The place was so nice and the summer sun was at its best with the heat. It was a long trip and while at the rented vehicle we already started drinking, first was a bottle of tequila and then followed by a rum. The drinking really made me dizzy added with the sleepless night since we still had to work Friday evening. A few of my office mates brought their girlfriend/partners with them. There were about twenty of us all in all. It was really a good time to unwind after the stress from work. Actually it's my first time going back to the beach since May of last year.
While we had a good time at the beach, there were also moments I spent on my own thinking about a lot of things. I'm just so uncertain. I kind of feel so sad thinking about certain things. The good feelings has turned bitter and this is what I was so afraid of.
I'm in so much trouble and pain with my feelings and myself now. Confusion and loneliness had always been my company all these days but now it's getting deeper and deeper I can feel it stubbing me slowly and deeply...so deep I could hardly breath.
I don't know what to do anymore or what to feel. I'm such a loser.
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