Tʜᴇ Aᴅᴊᴜsᴛᴍᴇɴᴛs & Pᴇᴛᴛʏ Aʀɢᴜᴍᴇɴᴛs

Being newly married entails a lot of joys, excitements and a new set of pretty little challenges especially if it's an intercultural kind of marriage.  I have never lived with a man until I got married.  I have stayed long vacations with my husband before we got married but those are different, they were "vacations", stress-free and everyday-happy except on the days when he flies back to France (I was still in Cebu then). 

Living with someone who grew up in a totally different culture can be challenging sometimes for both parties.  And aside from the cultural differences, as a woman, I also got my mood swings especially during the "red alert" times of the month.  I can be a pain in the ass sometimes with my over-sensitivity, my being too emotional and or my jealousy.  Thankfully I've been blessed with the most understanding man in the whole world!  He also has his low moments that require my patience and understanding.  Nobody's perfect and we both embrace that fact. 

We're both adjusting to a lot of things together and he's been really kind and considerate with me for the fact that this is the first time that I've lived away from my family, the first time that I left my comfort zone and the first time that I become totally dependent on someone yet there are those moments when both of us are just too stressed and are not able to keep our cool over certain things.  Simple things!  We are both working on our differences with respect towards each other, always!  I need to constantly remember that he has his side of the bed and if he's in the wrong side he won't be able to sleep correctly.  I always sleep under the sheets and he doesn't so he has to make sure he doesn't lie "all over" it otherwise I'd end up waking him while trying to pull it out in the middle of the night.  I cook rice in a way I used to do in the Philippines and he does it like he's cooking pasta (and there's nothing wrong with that, just never thought it's even possible)hehe...  He eats medium rare to rare beef, I don't!  The blood disgusts me so much.  I like eating pork, he doesn't like it as much (unless they are some barbecued ribs).  These are just examples, the list is pretty long.  I'm just trying to say that we're both different and yet we're perfect together! 

There are times when jokes don't come out right and they cause tension, a raised voice or an emotional breakdown (for me).  We react to stress very differently and sometimes I'm very negative that it gets to him which always ruins the day.  Sometimes he becomes so impatient over certain things and he'd bang the door and me being "over-sensitive" I'd always feel like he did it against me which of course is not true, yet he will really have to give me a hug to console me for that because I hate door slamming.  I have a tendency not to speak when I'm upset and it drives him crazy when I'm acting like that which just makes the situation worst so I'm little by little trying to stop this bad habit.  As I've mentioned my jealousy can be an issue that he has to deal with as well and as days go by he's getting better with that.  I can't help it, I've always been jealous as far as I could remember and he knew it since the beginning.

My husband fascinates me everyday.  Every little detail about him makes me fall in love even more over and over again.  We might have raised our voices against each other but there was never a time that we didn't say our apologies shortly.  Thankfully I've been blessed with a very kind, sensitive, loving and respectful husband.  All our petty arguments are actually helping us know each other better and love each other even more. 

In our couple we recognize the importance of open and honest communication and it is one of the things that's keeping us happy everyday.  Knowing that at the end of the day, no matter how simple or complicated an argument or issue is, if we talk about it then we'll both feel better.  Respect on the other hand plays a very important role too for without respect the "open and honest communication" can turn out to be just nagging.  I respect my husband and let him take his time when he's upset, I don't approach him like a hungry lioness just to have an open and honest talk, it doesn't work like that.  If you do it that way then good luck!  I am most certain that it will make the situation worse, of course!  My husband does respect my space too and waits until he feels that I'm ready to talk.  Everyday I feel like I owe him the world for loving me the way he does.  I have never felt this completely happy!  I love him and I will continue to love him more and more despite all our differences because our differences are our strengths too like he always said!

ᴛʜᴇ FIRST ʏᴇᴀʀ

I'm going to talk about more than one topic in this post: our first wedding anniversary and our first year as a married couple.  On the fourth of October we celebrated our first wedding anniversary.  It was funny because as early as the third we were already starting to exchange our greetings because we got married in the Philippines which is twelve hours ahead of Martinique, where we are at now.  Weeks before this special day my husband already had plans, he offered me a romantic dinner date at one of the best restaurants in the island.  He indeed made the reservation and we were so excitedly looking forward to it. 

 

On the other hand, as this important day was coming I was so stuck in an awful situation of not knowing what gift could I possibly give to my husband.  I'm in France and I've just been here for a few months, I don't really speak their language yet and they don't have an accessible public transportation system (I mean here in Martinique) so how could I possibly find something for my husband without him knowing it?  Whenever we go to the mall or department stores we're always together and I didn't want to order something online too, I've always been scared of internet fraud since I worked in a bank's fraud operation's department for many years.  So about four days before our anniversary I finally decided on what to do.  While my husband was at work I took the time to make my own hand-made anniversary card.  I had second thoughts about it because it's way too simple and I want to give him more but I had no other choice at the moment.  I finally knew what to do but then I got not so much art materials...it's not like in the Philippines that you can just go to the sari-sari store (a very small convenient store in the Philippines) next door to buy the basic art materials needed for a greeting card.  Anyhow, I got reminded of my art projects in my elementary years and the power of resourcefulness!  I cut and used a cereal box and I covered it with our stocked white scratch papers to conceal the writings of the box and then folded it to a greeting card.  Then I used a part of the red popcorn box and cut little hearts with it.  My longhand writing skills is not very beautiful but longhand writing is always more romantic so I went online and tried my best to follow the best font that I have found to scribble our names on a huge heart that I draw using my lipstick.  I was so happy seeing the almost finished product and then I draw one huge candle inside and wrote my anniversary message.  The folded greeting card already looked good but I thought it could be better to add more drama by using a ribbon.  I looked around again and found the handle of my paper bag which perfectly fits the purpose, et voilà!  I had to hide my simple little present until THE day will come. 

 

I was planning on giving him my little present at the restaurant but I was too excited I gave it to him in the afternoon.  I still feel it's not enough as a gift for such a husband that I have but he truly appreciated my effort and understood my situation.  One day I'll give him more than greeting cards for sure! 

 

While waiting for the time before our dinner date my amazing husband baked a very delicious pineapple cake, I helped a bit of course but he's the chef!  Then we prepared early for the dinner.  I decided to wear the red dress that he bought ten years before he found me.  It's one of the two dresses that he bought for the woman who will become his wife, the other one is the white dress that I wore for our wedding.  He wore his long sleeve polo shirt which is as red as my dress.  We were so dressed up for the night, it felt so special. 

 

We arrived in the restaurant on time, we ordered two different cocktails.  Mine was a coco punch and his was a piña colada and both were so good!  Just a few minutes after finishing our cocktails the restaurant owner gave us some complimentary appetizers, a green curry of something...we don't really know what it was but it tasted good.  I ordered scallops and my husband ordered a seafood curry.  The scallops were so fucking good, they melt in your mouth, so soft and the tastes was so heavenly good!  I had fish too which was again so good.  Fabrice's plate was very good as well.  We both had a glass of white wine and lastly ordered a dessert which somehow disappointed us, they weren't as good as they were presented.  It was a very good dinner all in all and very romantic but the bill wasn't romantic unfortunately.  Anyway, we kept telling ourselves that "it's worth it, it's a very special occasion and we deserved it". 

More importantly I'd like to share a little about our first year of marriage.  Still the honeymoon stage as they say.  The most challenging part was the time when he had to come back to France without me after the wedding and we had to go through the agony of being apart for some months.  Normally we should have been together around five months after our wedding but due to some delays on the procedure in the french embassy he actually had to come back to see me again after six months and a few weeks of waiting, it's impossible not to see each other so he took an unexpected vacation.  Thankfully, by God's grace we were able to have a very good vacation, complete my papers and buy the tickets for me to be with him on his trip back to France (to Martinique to be exact).  It was by some kind of heavenly miracle that it all happened! 

Our life here in Martinique is different in a very good way.  We still miss each other but not more than the couple of days when he's at work.  We shared some tough moments, my health had not been so great but my husband has been very caring and loving thankfully, his health haven't been so impressive either yet we surpass our problems, there's nothing serious that happened anyway.  We've raised our voices a few times over some silly things, we both have to deal with some little adjustments in living together.  We talked a lot, watched movies and pictures a lot, went to many nice and interesting places, cooked and baked a lot, laughed, hugged and kissed a lot together!  The first year went by pretty fast!  I remember someone tried to talk my husband off the idea of marrying me just a month or weeks before our wedding saying "it's probably too early to get married"!  We prove these kinds of people wrong.  We've never been happier in our lives!  We share the gift of love every second of everyday and yet we still can't seem to get enough of each other.  If our lives will continue to be like this as years go by then most certainly we'll die happy but before the reality of death knock us off we would have enjoyed our lives together.  There's no doubt we were born for each other! 

 

ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴀ HOUSEWIFE

It's been a little over five months since I left my last job.  Many people have bad and negative notions about being a housewife but day after day I'm enjoying it.  It made me discover a lot of things about myself and it's making me grow in a different way.  Working is very good and rewarding, I totally agree with that but so as being a stay home wife.  Don't you think it's rewarding enough when your husband appreciates the new dish you just learned to cook?  how about the nice and clean smell of the house when he gets home? or even the laundry that's neatly pressed or the the closet that's well arranged?  and don't forget the shirt botton you found and fixed!  A simple smile and a kiss of gratitude is more than enough of a reward.

Yes I would admit that in the beginning I was a bit scared.  I know how to cook just a few Filipino dishes and I've never been in charged of the kitchen or the house for a long time.  Back in high school and college I was more independent.  I cook, do the laundry and look after the house myself.  But when I started working my mother decided to be the one to wash my clothes and everyone were looking after the house then my sister-in-law moved in with us so she was the one to always cook.  Due to my awful work schedule being always at the night shift, when I get home I just eat and sleep, get up and then get ready for work again....Later on I asked my mother or anyone not to touch my laundry but I still didn't work on them, I went ahead and send them to the laundry shop.  I've been off the house works for quite some time then I got married, eventually stopped working and moved in with my husband overseas.  Yes that's a lot of adjustments to make but I've been so blessed with a very understanding and supportive life partner.

I could not help but feel a little worried in the beginning but eventually things just fall into place.  I was able to get myself together with the house works.  Thankfully the place I moved to is also tropical so the food and vegetations are almost totally the same.  My husband showed me how to cook his country's typical foods then my friend suggested a cooking website which turned out to be so helpful.  Since then I've been able to prepare simple yet good meals for us.  The happiness in his eyes and the happiness I feel are priceless everytime he appreciates the little things I do at home. 

Career driven women might be so bored to do all these things but it's not really as bad as they think it is.  They should try it at least once in their lives and besides being a wife is a very rewarding career too!  I also recognize the fact though that the kind of man we choose to marry is a huge factor on our happiness with being a stay home wife.  I am so blessed to have married the best man for me and this made me the happiest.  I consider this as a great opportunity to just always be there looking after my husband and our love nest because things might change in the future, perhaps the necessity and opportunity to land a job will come again so I am taking advantage of this beautiful and stress-free life of being a wife.

To the rest of the women who are on the same situation as myself, cheers to us!  Be proud!  A part of the world may consider what we do as tiresome and boring but they just don't realise how fun, challenging and rewarding it really is!  I choose to be a happy housewife over being a desperate one ;)

it's poulet boucané for lunch ^^