Certificate of Legal Capacity to Marry, WHAT IS IT and HOW CAN I GET IT?

I've been receiving a lot of questions regarding this document since I published my blog post regarding how we went about getting married in the Philippines.  As much as I religiously answer the queries, some of the questions are just really repetitive, perhaps because some blog readers aren't patient enough to browse through the comments section or even read the entire article (which isn't really a good thing, though I know reading isn't everyone's cup of tea but if we scout for important information, I think we should exert more effort).  Anyhow, I thought it is better to just write a separate post specifically for this certain document so I can just refer readers to this post in the future instead of repeating the same information all the time.  

The Certificate of Legal Capacity to Marry is a legal document required by the Philippine government from a couple wishing to get married in the Philippines, in which, one isn't a Filipino national (a foreigner).  I was asked of this document since my husband is French.  This certificate is a proof that your future spouse doesn't have any legal matrimonial attachment in his country, in short, he is SINGLE.  This is equivalent to our CENOMAR in the Philippines.  You can acquire this document from the French embassy in Manila FOR FREE but before the embassy will issue you this legal paper you'll need to submit the following requirements to them: 

Requirements for an issuance of the Certificate of Legal Capacity to Marry:

For the French National:

• A duly accomplished questionnaire from the embassy.  To download the questionnaire CLICK HERE
• A recent (less than 3 months) full text of Birth Certificate
• Copy of National Identification card or Certificate of Nationality or Biometric passport
• (If previously married, a court decision of divorce; if widow/er, a certified true copy of death certificate of spouse)
• Proof of residency or copy of consular certificate if applicable

For the Filipino National:

• A duly accomplished questionnaire from the embassy.  Same questionnaire as the French national.
• Authenticated copy of the full text birth certificate (NSO and DFA)
• Certificate of No Marriage (CENOMAR) issued by NSO
• Proof of residency in the Philippines
• Photocopy of 2 ID cards (passport, postal ID, SSS ID ...)
• (If previously married, mention of annulment decision on duly authenticated marriage certificate and certified true copy of judgment of marriage annulment; If widow/er, authenticated copy of death certificate of the spouse, Copy of birth certificate of illegitimate children duly authenticated.

After submitting the required/complete documents, you'll be advised to wait for about 5 to 8 weeks.  Yes, it can take a long time and here's why:  Once they receive your complete file, they will post a marriage banns at the French embassy for 10 days, if no one opposes, the file will then be sent to the city hall of the residence of your future spouse -in France- where a marriage banns will again be published for  another 10 days.  If there is still no one who opposes your future union, the city hall will then mail a certificate of no opposition to the French embassy.  As far as I know, they use snail mail, that's why it can really be time consuming.  Things might have been changed since then and they might be doing the process/exchanging the files electronically, which means it could be faster now  but I don't want to give you false hope regarding the time frame.  It is always better to ask the embassy directly on how long you need to wait for the certificate to be issued.  Without this certificate, no civil or religious wedding can be done in the Philippines.

I hope this post helps make things clear for you.  You might want to read the following blog entries:
Marriage Between Filipino & French Nationals (FAQ)

Filipino-French Wedding Procedure in the Philippines

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How Did I Manage To Speak French (In A Few Year's Time)?

There is no secret nor is there a shortcut in learning a new language, especially if you do it at a later age.  I officially started learning the French language back in 2012, few months after I married my French husband.  But way before that, while we were still at the boyfriend-girlfriend stage, he was already starting to give me a few grammar lessons.  And after each of those grammar lessons, I was almost convinced that "no, this language isn't for me, it's too complicated" only to find myself conversing in French a few years later! Lesson learned: never underestimate your own capacities...ever!

Since the beginning of our relationship, we've always agreed that English will be our primary language in conversing together but later on we realized that it's actually very important for me to learn his language especially since we envision living in France for a few years before finally retiring somewhere else.  This led us to making a decision of me going to language school, if I want to be fluent in French his grammar lessons won't be enough.  But it was only for a couple of months, far from being enough yet it was already a good kick start.  

I officially started learning at the first quarter of 2012 and was already able to speak the language decently enabling me to work part time the last quarter of the next year and yes, this too surprised me in a way.  My husband and I have met a lot of people who asked us how I managed to learn and get fluent as quickly as I did and there is no single answer for this question.  As previously mentioned, I went to language school for a couple of months just before leaving for France.  And when I arrived, as part of my integration process, I attended four hundred hours of language training but aside from that here are the other things that helped me get the hang of it:

1. Have an open mind.  Learning a new language, especially a tricky one like French, needs an open mind.  Don't get yourself stuck in the grammar rules and pronunciations of the language or languages you speak.
2. Buy or scout for free learning materials online and don't just stop there, USE THEM.  Learning is investing.  This new language you're trying to learn may take you places, give it all you have with the time and resources you have.  And there are a lot of fun apps for smart phones that are very effective now a days.
3. Get a "Becherelle" or download a conjugation app like "Le Conjugueur".  This will allow you to know the different conjugation of each French word according to their tenses.  If you want to be fluent with your French then this is a must.
4. Embrace the awkward.  Hearing new words and trying to say them by producing odd sounds can be really awkward in the beginning but you'll never get used to it unless you allow yourself to repeat it enough until it sounds and feels...well, less awkward.  Hey! You're learning a new language, the word new isn't there for nothing so chill! 
5. Live in the country where this language is spoken.  They say that this is the best way to learn a new language, true, unless you opt to speaking your own language while living in that place.  Language is a beautiful part of the culture, integrate yourself and trust me, you'll be appreciating the country's culture in an even deeper level and it'll make your life easier.  You won't have to worry about making sign languages when faced with someone who can't speak the same language you speak.  Not that something is wrong with sign languages, it can be fun and creative too! ^_^ But would it not be better if you can go about your daily life in a normal way like everyone else around you?  In France, not a lot of people speak English let alone Cebuano or Tagalog or whatever Filipino dialect you speak.
6. Read-Listen-Imitate, repeat.  Each of us retain information differently, this worked for me.  I look at a word, listen to someone say it, try to imitate the person and I repeat the procedure.  They help me remember the words, thus, enriching my vocabulary while helping me with the pronunciation at the same time but pronunciations are tricky, don't get discouraged too easily, brave it out!
7. Start from scratch, use children's books.  In France, they have these booklets called "cahier de vacances" that are available in different subject matters, pick the one for learning French and enjoy learning easy-everyday vocabularies.  Imagine you're four years old again and just started going to school.. ^_^
8. Don't be afraid to watch that television.  Say,  you live in that foreign country now and you're too afraid to watch your t.v. set because most channels speak a language that you don't understand.  Don't be.  Go on and watch that t.v. but not with a goal of understanding what's shown just yet, use it to get yourself familiar with the words and how they say it.  Then later on, you'll be surprised when you start to understand and follow simple conversations or topics.  Sitcoms, variety shows, the news and cartoons are very good things to watch in foreign television.
9. Make good old "subtitle" your friend.  Watch a movie in a language that you understand and have it subtitled with the language that you're trying to learn.  Or watch a French movie with an English subtitle.  I know not everyone is a friend of Mr subtitle but this is a very helpful technique especially when it comes to idiomatic expressions since these are things that aren't translated literally most of the time.  Now, you're leveling up!
10. You can't overdose on music.  Have you already heard of a song with the lyrics that you don't understand but the beat was so nice it stays in your head and you end up actually enjoying it?  I think most of us already have.  Music is another part of a country's culture, a beautiful part.  When you listen to music with the language that you're trying to learn don't get frustrated, first you'll understand only bits and pieces of the lyrics and little by little you'll understand the whole song.  France has a lot of beautiful, meaningful, romantic songs, don't miss them!
11. Don't be ashamed to ask even when talking to that random person at the grocery.  French people don't bite.  Don't let the lack of vocabulary hinder your improvement.  And at home don't stop asking questions about words that you've heard and you'd want to understand.
12. Make notes.  Keeping cheat sheets is a good way to helping you remember those newly learned words and expressions.  When you hear a word that's used so often, jot it down and when you get home ask your husband or wife or whoever is with you.
13. Live, breath and eat French.  Make it a part of your life.
14. Don't settle for less.  Practice, don't be afraid to make mistakes, allow others to correct you without feeling offended and don't stop and be contented with a limited vocabulary.  Believe you can and you will!

Trying to speak a new language can be very challenging but it is all worth it in the end.  I'm a talker, I love sharing my ideas and communicating with people around me.  If I were not able to speak French then my life in France will not have been the same.  I wouldn't have been able to find even a part time job.  I'd always have worries about not being understood and I'd always be depending on my husband for everything.  I'm not saying I master the language because I don't, I'm very far from that and I most probably won't reach that level, but I know enough to go about my daily life just as how I went about it in the Philippines and this gives me a certain freedom and confidence and if I am able to do it then there's no reason why you won't be able to do the same, you might even be better than me. ^_^

SUGGESTIONS:

• Try getting the LIVING LANGUAGE COMPLETE COURSE - this is a package with a very well explained book, an English-French dictionary and 4 CDs.  This book helped me a lot in understanding French grammar.
• Visit  LanguageGuide - they have a lot of beginners' exercises available for free.

Why Going on a Cruise is a Good Idea

Due to my husband's line of work, we've been moving around different parts of the French soil a little too often.  Back in 2012 we were in a French island in the Caribbean, a year later we were in Brittany (Bretagne) -a region in the western part of France and now we're in Tahiti, the South Pacific.  I'm not at all complaining, on the contrary, it's a great pleasure to discover the different parts of this beautiful country.  Living here is a wonderful experience, it's something that I never had ever imagined, I didn't even know this part of the earth exists (I must have learned it in school but I just don't remember that part of my learning....it happens..lol).  However, since the French Polynesian archipelago is such a secluded place, everything here is very costly and....far.  My husband is assigned here for a span for three years in which we're half-way done.

Tahiti is a small island, three times smaller than Cebu (the island where I'm from the the Philippines).  Most communities here live in the coastal areas, only very few of them are in the hills.  As a matter of fact, they don't even have roads crossing all around the island.  They have a main road surrounding the island and a road which crosses the interior part of the island but it's not really being used, only island tours and a few locals use this road.  If you're like me who isn't into surfing, diving, paddling and all other aquatic activities then you may have a tendency to get bored.  It is pretty common for people here to travel to New Zealand, Japan, the US, South America, Australia and Metropolitan France.  If they can afford a trip to any of these countries they'd definitely do it just to experience and see something  different.  We would've wanted to do one of these trips if only I'd never be bothered to apply for a visa at each time.  I'm proud of being a Filipino but sad over the fact that my Filipino passport don't make me feel "free" enough to go where I please.  Having to renew my French visa (titre de sejour) annually is already enough of a stress and trouble (if I may say) for us, let alone requesting for another visa!  This actually made my husband and I decide on taking our first cruise.

It was a wonderful eleven-day cruise within the French Polynesian archipelago, so no need for any visa when we arrive in our different ports of call.  Since everything is costly here, a domestic flight from one Polynesian island to another can sometimes be more expensive than a flight to another country, so discovering some of these -even farther- islands is a beautiful chance.

We embarked the MS Pacific Princess in Papeete on a beautiful Sunday afternoon and from the moment of embarkation until the last minute of our stay, everything was just hassle-free.  Since it's our first time cruising, we were mesmerized by their organization of things, you check-in, they take care of your luggage the same way when checking-in in a hotel then give you individual key cards with your names printed on them and these key cards will actually serve as your "credit card" on board so you won't have to worry about bringing a lot of cards with you while you go about your different activities in the ship.

Shortly after checking-in, we were all excited about having a tour around "our home" for the next eleven days.  Getting on the ship gave us a feeling of being in a different country.  Everyone spoke English, there's a good mix of tourists, there's a feel of being in a different culture and the ship's crews are all friendly, professional, welcoming and polite. Our stateroom was at the 7th floor with a beautiful picture window for memorable views and was surprisingly spacious.  It had a closet large enough for our vacation clothes, a vanity set, center table, couch, a private bathroom with shower and other amenities common in hotels like TV set, phone, fridge, air-conditioning etc.. It was rustic but well maintained, clean and nice.

The MS Pacific Princess became famous when it appeared in the romantic comedy anthology TV series The Love Boat.  With today's really huge cruise ships, she falls under the small cruise ship category though it really isn't that small.  As we toured around we discovered the restaurants, the cabaret lounge where they hold evening shows, the cozy Pacific lounge with a bar, the library, the main pool and the panorama buffet.  Though the ship isn't new it still holds its elegance, it gave us the impression of being taken back in time, especially the interior design.

Everything was included in the package that we paid except for alcoholic beverages and the daily tips of $11.23 per person.  The food was very delicious and it can be dangerous if you over-indulge since food is available from six in the morning until eleven in the evening.  Every night they'd give you the following day's schedule so you'd be able to plan ahead in case you wanna join an on-board activity that they propose such as table tennis "friendly" competitions, free dance lessons, cooking shows, a comedy show at night etc..they have various activities designed for various group of guests.  Even though around 85% of the guests are retirees there was never a point that we got bored and it's actually something that has to change, one shouldn't wait for his retirement before getting on a cruise, not necessarily the luxurious ones...in today's world it's rare not to have enough choices may it be about the price range or the destination.

Since we're residents of the French Polynesian archipelago my husband already has some local contacts so he made arrangements and bookings for the excursions in almost all of our ports of call even weeks before the beginning of our adventure.  He didn't do it for Moorea - an island next to Tahiti that we often visit, so, we can say we know the island well enough to pay for a guided tour; Bora Bora - where we planned on spending our day at the beach which also is free of charge and Raiatea - where we planned doing a short trekking which won't necessarily need a guide, thus, again free of charge.

The idea of cruising is already something wonderful in itself but cruising in the South Pacific seas?  That's beyond wonderful if you are someone who loves the tropics, the laid back islands, pristine white sand beaches and crystal-clear-and-marine-life-rich lagoons!  For us, it was heaven, this place is a little piece of paradise.  Away from pollution, overpopulation, terrorism and migrant crisis just to name a few.  Aside from the three previously mentioned islands (Moorea, Raiatea and Bora Bora), we also had the pleasure to go and enjoy the islands of:

• Huahine where we did an island tour including a visit to a pearl farm.
• The grandiose Nuku Hiva of the Marquesas where we did a guided tour which included a short trekking.  It's a mountainous big island so you'll have really fascinating views of the ocean.
• The awesome Rangiroa where we spent a day at the famous "blue lagoon" and the name really speaks for itself, the different shades of blue and the black fin sharks swimming with you were stunning and the snorkeling at their natural aquarium was simply unforgettable.

The eleven days went by really quick and though it's cliché to say but as stated in the ship's slogan, we came back new!

Yes, the price isn't low but considering the experience that we had and that everything is expensive at where we are, it was actually worth every penny.  So, why going on a cruise is a good idea?  Well, with what you paid you were taken to different places while enjoying the comforts of being in a starred hotel.  Each day, you open your eyes to a different scenery.  You can be eating your breakfast with a marvelous view of the ocean and spending your lunch at a local restaurant really far from where you had last night's dinner.  Take a break, go on a cruise while you're still young and enjoy it even more!  As for us, we can't wait to try it again, we're hooked! ^_^

Our stateroom...feels like honeymoon all over again! ^_^

Cook bay Moorea.

Raiatea with 2 of the ship's amazing crews.

Bora Bora

Blue Lagoon (Rangiroa)

Rangiroa's shark breeding lagoon.

The pool and the two hot tubs on the side.

Crayfish on Captain's night 

Nuku Hiva

The Welcome Champagne fountain 

Official Pacific Princess Photo from http://www.princess.com/

The Man Who Died Twice But Lives Forever

A husband to a lovely and amazing woman at 20, first time dad at 21 and father of five at 30.  Life went by pretty fast for him.  He had traveled, had his adventures, made a few lifelong friendships, made mistakes and wrong decisions, broke rules, failed, succeeded but most importantly he had loved.

From a young age I've witnessed how this courageous man did his best to take care of his family, to try and protect them and provide for them despite his limited income.  He was very determined and a little too proud and stubborn at times.  He was quick-tempered yet a people person at the same time...he was complicated like that and he had a lot of flaws making him like everyone else, only, he wasn't (at least for me).  He had strong convictions and was someone who couldn't be manipulated or intimidated by anyone.  Stating all this would seem like I knew him so well.  Yes I do but at the same time I don't think I knew him enough.

On one fateful day of February 1992, on the way home from work while driving on a rough steep road he lost control of his motorbike causing it to fall down and he then hit his head on a tree trunk.  The impact was so strong it caused a serious damage in his brain.  He stayed in a coma for days and spent months in different hospitals.  He never died but a part of him did.  Since the accident he was never able to neither walk nor think like his old self again (which perhaps was for the better, that way he wasn't always conscious of his sufferings).  His family, who was totally depending on him, had not been doing so well since the accident.  Then things got better and got so bad again and the cycle continues.  Everyone did their part to make things better and made mistakes which got things really bad.  He witnessed all of it and whenever things were bad he sometimes felt so helpless and expressed his feelings of wanting to end his life.  It wasn't easy for everyone but life had to go on.  

I was seven when this accident happened and my memories of him in good health slowly became like parts of a long time dream.  I saw his old pictures, heard stories about him (both good and not so good), heard his voice in a few recordings, learned about his dreams and ambitions when everything was well and somehow they didn't seem to be enough.  Sometimes these things made me feel like I didn't know him enough but even though the accident changed him and changed things it was evident that he never loved his family any lesser.  I spent my childhood helping to take care of him and I had to accept that I knew him in a different way.

This man was my father.  He lived a hard life having had to stay in bed for the last twenty four and a half years of his existence.  We often hear people complain about anything, from the weather to daily traffic congestion to how they can't find the latest gadget in their local shops.  We sometimes forget about those who are suffering in any way.  How can we possibly be so selfish and insensitive at the same time?

For me, a part of him died when he had that accident twenty five years ago now and when he passed away three months ago it meant freedom from all his sufferings but this doesn't make it any less painful.  I still long to see him again, talk to him again, give him a hug and be with him.  However, like my husband always tell me, longing for such things is me being selfish because he already suffered enough.  Now, I'm sure that he is in a far better place where there is no more pain, no more frustrations, no more sufferings and no more unrealized dreams.  Yes, my father died twice but in the hearts of those of us who love him he forever lives.

Marriage Between Filipino & French Nationals (FAQ)

Over the course of a few years I've been receiving mails, good feed backs and additional questions from Filipino women who are in the process of getting married or planning to get married with their French boyfriends.  As someone who went through this not-so-easy-sometimes-confusing-and-challenging process I decided to note and share how my husband and I went about it in the purpose of being able to help anyone who might need the information in the future.  I know how stressful it can be to scout for information and to wonder and worry if we are really doing the right thing.  

I've always been glad to respond to questions but truth be told, there were some questions which irritated me.  Some individuals forgot to read or ignored reading the articles and just went directly to the comments section to ask for something that is already mentioned in the article had she read it first.  I understand that not all of us are into reading but if we need any information especially for something as important as a marriage procedure, I think we need to set our laziness aside.  

Another thing is that, some readers ask really specific/subjective questions.  This is a personal blog not the French embassy's website, I couldn't possibly speak for anyone working there nor analyze your case and decide if it is okay to do this or proceed like that.  Needless to mention that the information I am sharing are based on my experience from a few years back, it is not impossible that the procedure or a part of the procedure changed.  Please don't hesitate to visit the French embassy's website for all specific and detailed information.  To visit the embassy's website and go directly to the "marriage information section" you may click HERE.

Here are the Frequently Asked Questions on Marriage Between Filipino & French Nationals (in the Philippines)

1. Is the CFO certificate still a requirement in order to have the certificate of Legal Capacity to Marry?
• Back in 2011 it was included in the list of requirements but the updated list of requirements doesn't have it anymore.  However, if you plan to settle in France and leave the country with your spouse visa after the wedding then you'll need to get it (later, after the wedding).  Otherwise the Philippine immigration won't let you leave the country even with your French spouse visa.
2. Is there a certain person in the embassy that we need to speak regarding this process?  If yes, do you have his/her phone number?
• I had the name and phone number of the person who assisted us on the process but this person has since left the embassy.  I suggest that you call the embassy and ask for the information from them directly.  Phone numbers and email addresses can be found in their website.
3. Do we need an appointment even if it is just for inquiries?  
• It is always better to call for an appointment first even for simple inquiries.  When you call they will advice you if you need an appointment or not for a specific visit.
4. Are there denied cases of LCM?
• Probably, but I personally don't know anyone who had a denied LCM case.  As long as your requirements are complete and no one opposes the marriage banns on both parties then I don't see why the issuance of LCM gets denied.
5. How many months does the  process take from the first visit to the embassy to the wedding?
• The processing time could take up to 5 months, that's for all the documents but this is just a rough estimate.
6. How long did your then fiancé (now husband) stay in the Philippines to process all the documents for the LCM?  Can I submit the needed documents alone?
• My husband didn't stay in the Philippines while we were processing the papers for the LCM.  I submitted my documents alone but we claimed it together.  However, I already had a few blog followers who said they were asked to submit their documents together.  I suggest that you ask the embassy first whether it is or isn't okay for you to submit your completed documents alone, just to be on the safe side.
7. When is my boyfriend's presence required at the embassy?
• When you start the wedding process they will advice you when they'll need to have both of you in their office (for some sort of interview).  I suppose this is to protect both parties from "fake" marriages.
8. Is there a fee to get the certificate of Legal Capacity to Marry?
• No there is no fee for this certificate.
9. How do we set an appointment?
• You can set appointments by calling the embassy or sending them an email.  Their contact information can be found in their website.
10. Does it matter if my boyfriend's salary is low?
• I don't think so.
11. Is my French boyfriend required to stay in the Philippines before we can get married? If yes, how long?
• This is a question that has to be addressed to the French embassy directly.
12. How long can we get the NSO copy of our MC?
• If you didn't request for an electronic endorsement, I suppose it'll take 2 to 3 months.  You may contact the local NSO office near you to verify this information.
13. After the wedding, what do I do next?
• If you plan to settle in France then you must start filing for your "livret de famille".  This is the main requirement for your spouse visa.

These are the most common questions I received from blog followers.  Soon I'll write an FAQ about the spouse visa and living in France too.

Feel free to click on the following items if you would like to read the detailed blog entries on my experience on the marriage procedure (so as my husband's of course but I'm the only one writing).  We had a civil wedding done at the city hall officiated by the mayor.  To reach me directly, put down your email address on the comment section and I'll contact you via email without posting the comment consisting your email address.

STEP ONE 

STEP TWO 

STEP THREE 

STEP FOUR 

STEP FIVE 

LE LIVRET DE FAMILLE 

Different Ways to Wear a Scaf

Post by Brenda Hayes.

Credits to Brenda Hayes for posting this video.

Visiting the Northern Part of Bretagne (including Le Mont St. Michel)

When we buy new electronic gadgets like cellphones or computers there are these images that are pre-installed in them, they serve as sample pictures of the device.  I remember often seeing a beautiful image but I don't remember seeing any information about it, where it can be found or what it is.  It might have been noted as the image name but I just don't remember seeing it.  Anyway, the image I'm talking about is the famous Mont St Michel which is located in the region of Normandy in France.  It's in the northwestern part of the country at the boundary of the regions Normandy (Normandie) and Brittany (Bretagne).  One day, I came across this image again on the internet and at that moment I was already married to my husband (who is French), so I thought why not ask him about it.  Indeed he told me about this wonderful world heritage which he had already even visited and he promised to take me there one day.

I arrived in France in 2012 but we didn't get the chance to visit this famous and historical place until last weekend because we lived in the French West Indies (Caribbean).  Well, the first time I really saw it (from a distance) was on our very long drive from Picardy (Picardie) to Brittany on a hot summer day of 2013.  That was a few days after our arrival in the metropolis from our stay in the Caribbean.  I remember the excitement I felt even by just seeing it from afar.  Then last week my husband told me we're going away for the weekend, he'd like to show me the northern part of the region and then we'd go as far as "Le Mont St Michel".  I was like a child giggling for excitement the night before we left off.  

Before reaching our main destination we had made a few stops.  We left at past ten on a Saturday morning after running a few errands and we arrived past twelve in a village called Plélo.  My husband took me to a local farm/restaurant where he spent a part of his childhood.  It was so amazing to see him rediscover an important part of his growing up years and it actually brought me back some childhood memories of my own because the smell of the place was very much like the smell of my grandparents' house, it was the smell of the fire woods used in cooking.  I love the cozy feeling.  We had a very good "crêpe bretonne" which we ate with their homemade cider.  It was sumptuous and the ambiance was just so homey.  After eating we had a quick tour around the farm and then we hit the road again for the next destination, the town of Paimpol.  

galette - a crepe made out of black wheat

Char à Banc - restaurant/farm in Plélo

My husband had always wanted to show me where his parents came from.  It's a town in the northern part of the Brittany region.  This interests me so much as well because it is a part of him.  He spent most of his childhood vacations there, at his grandfather's house.  I was expecting to see a quite little village but it took me by surprise.  I found myself in a busy city with a port filled with really nice sailing vessels.  Well, it was a very beautiful sunny spring day so tourists sprang from almost everywhere and locals took advantage of the weather as well.  We went to visit the place where his grandfather used to live then to the part of the town where her mother grew up and we also paid visits to the tombs of his elders.  It was a beautiful special day.  For dinner, he took me out to a very good seafood restaurant in a village called "Loguivy de la mer".  It was quite pricey but we just decided to spoil ourselves that day!  And the dessert was at "crêperie Morel" a famous "crêperie" in Paimpol.  When our stomachs got a bit too much to eat for the day and our feet got weary after all the walking, we took shelter in an average hotel just a few meters from the port.  The price was correct, we paid 46€ the night without breakfast.  

Paimpol - this is facing the port.

seafood plate in Loguivy de la mer 

The next day was THE day we went up to Le Mont St Michel.  It was a very beautiful Sunday morning.  The sun was so up and the sky as blue as a summer day!  We left Paimpol after a quick breakfast.  It was a long two hour and a half drive.  We arrived at the parking lot of the heritage around 12:40.  The lot is quite far from the mount itself, as part of their efforts to preserve this historical place.  From the parking lot, visitors have the options to either take the shuttle buses for free which would take them directly to the mount (it'll only take a few minutes), take a forty minute walk or take their bikes (if they brought some with them).  We took the forty minute walk because we wanted to enjoy the view as we get nearer and nearer the mount.  It was so beautiful with the perfect weather and there were not so many people either.  I was literally jumping for excitement as we got nearer and nearer.

We are a fan of this very famous HBO series called Game of Thrones and visiting the mount was like being in one of the kingdoms of Westeros (if you know what I'm talking about)!  Anyway, we entered a huge gate just like what we see in old close villages or kingdoms in movies and inside is a centuries old city, houses made of stone which are now used as gift shops, restaurants, hotel and snack houses.  We climbed all the way up and made a first stop at the chapel of Joan of Arc then we made some more stops every now and then to enjoy the magnificent view as we keep ascending.  The mount itself was packed with visitors but not as much as during a summer day I suppose.  We decided to visit the abbey and monastery, this is the the place they call "top God" if I got it right.  We had to pay 9€ each (without a guide).  The price was worth it!  It's my most favorite part of the visit.  There are many enormous halls and the huge chapel with the blessed sacrament.  Being a catholic, I found it so holy and I couldn't stop myself from being teary eyed as I thanked The Almighty for the beautiful opportunity of being there.  Behind the huge chapel and in the middle of the halls is a beautiful garden.  When we descended we used the stares near the wall and we had the very beautiful view of the sea.  It was low tide though but it was still amazing especially with the seagulls flying all around.  I found it even magical in a way.  This world heritage is visited by around 3 million tourists per year and among them are of course Filipinos.  When we were at one of the souvenir shops my husband spotted some tourists and he told me "they're Filipinos" (he actually has an eye for Filipinos, he knows one when he sees one).  I smiled at them and as they smiled back, I then directly asked if they're Filipinos which they confirmed.  I was so happy because they are from Mindanao so they speak Bisaya too like me.  Oh how much I miss talking to Filipinos in person!  So, we had our chika moment for a few minutes.  After a few minutes of shopping (because the prices are hilarious as such the case in most tourist spots) we could no longer ignore our starving stomachs and tired feet.  We looked for the "not so expensive" food but we couldn't really find a lot and we ended up in a 3 star restaurant.  The price was "correct" but their stars were nowhere to be found from the food presentation to the ambiance and the staff!  Anyway, it wasn't so bad either..we were just expecting a better service due to their "stars".

Le Mont St Michel

Holy Sacrament chapel

After the memorable visit of the mount my husband told me we would make one last stop before heading home.  He took me to the old city called St. Malo.  On the way there we passed by a lot of farms and really beautiful villages where all houses are made of stone.  We took the way along the coastal area and view was breathtaking!  It is so flat and we saw a huge herd of sheep and a few kilometers away was a "bio" chicken farm and then a pig farm.  It was my first time to see a pig farm where pigs are out in the meadow.  It was so beautiful and we often saw advertisements about "vegetables for sale" fresh from the farm.  I enjoyed it so much.

Pig farm - photo grabbed from: www.pitchup.com

We arrived in St. Malo's Intra-Muros around past five in the afternoon.  I was again awestruck!  It's a close "ancient city".  We entered a huge gate again and inside is an old city with almost everything made of stone.  Of course it gave us the feeling of being in "Westeros" again.  It was very beautiful.  We climbed and walked beside its walls facing the sea.  The sun was still so bright but the wind was starting to be chilly.  Our energy level is starting to get low and the smell of crêpe all over the place was a torture since we don't want to "spoil ourselves" for two consecutive days.  We only bought a postcard  from there and then we decided to head home.    We've done enough walking for the day!

St Malo

For someone who doesn't like driving, it was a very long way so I am a super proud and grateful wife!  It was the longest drive my husband did, all for love and with love!  We got home at exactly 9:40 in the evening and that concluded our lovely weekend!

Now, I can say that I have quite visited the Brittany region, from north to south and it's so beautiful.  I already mentioned this in one of my blog posts but I'd say it again.  If you ever get the chance to visit France, try visiting this region.  You'll enjoy beautiful landscapes and delicious foods! ツ 

Why Do People Get Married or Want To Get Married?

Photo grabbed from: www.sandtonshul.co.za

Although in today's world and generation society places lesser and lesser value to marriage, people still do it or want to do it.  Well, I did want it and wish for it when I was single and I still know quite a number of people planning and wanting to do it.  Why is this so?  There are many possible answers to this question.  Personally, here's what I have to say:

Marriage gives people a sense of emotional stability.  Though there are some who say it's just a paper yet I'd beg to disagree.  Yes it's a paper but it is a very important paper.  This paper means a lifetime commitment (though unfortunately not all couples stick to this commitment).  When you are in a couple but not yet married there are these possibilities of not taking some things or decisions too seriously because well, there's no great impact really, due to the lack of marriage.  If the decision leads to a break up well then that's it.  You may suffer from heartaches and sleepless nights but that's the most you could worry about.  Whereas, if you're married you'd think twice and be more careful with each decisions you make because breaking up doesn't just mean heartaches, sleepless nights, packing your things and moving out, it can mean a very long, traumatic, and strenuous divorce or annulment process.  I have never been this emotionally stable until I got married but this is entirely dependent on the person you choose to marry, so be careful!  You choose the wrong person and the last thing you'll have will be emotional stability.

Marriage gives people a structure in creating a family.  When you marry the person you choose to be with for the rest of your life then most likely you also plan of procreating, extending  your bloodline and contributing to our growing society.  This might not be true to each married couple but a large number of married couples would agree to this, I suppose.  Yes you may still have a family even without marriage but this still remains  one of the norms of the society.  It is still better to "start right".  It may sound a bit too righteous but isn't this how you'd wish your children to start their future families?  But of course this is just an option, everyone can start making their families the way they want.

Marriage gives people security.  When you finally said yes to each other, this is the yes for a lifetime together.  So you just got the assurance of having someone with you through it all if both of you will be true to your vows.  The road can be rough and some nights can be long but alas!  You will have someone with you! This is the kind of security I'm talking about.

Marriage makes you happy.  As long as you choose the right person then you'll be left with no choice but to agree with me.  One night, on our random conversation before falling asleep, I asked my husband what his idea is about why people get married and he answered "to be happy".  It didn't take him even a second to give me an answer and he elaborated saying he has never been really happy until he found and married me.  I couldn't agree more because I definitely share the same happiness.  Perhaps my husband's answer is a little too general but this is how I'd make it specific:  it is the kind of happiness you feel when you wake up beside each other everyday or the way you just can't get your mind off each other when you are apart; the kind of happiness you feel when you take care of each other even after a heated argument; the kind of happiness you feel when you forgive each other; the kind of happiness you feel when you cuddle after making love and the kind of happiness you feel when you look at the future together.

So, you are thinking of finally tying the knot?  If you think you have found THE ONE then by all means, go ahead!  There is nothing to be afraid of when you really love each other because as one french woman told us "avec l'amour tout va" meaning: with love everything is gonna be alright.

WHY I WROTE WHAT I WROTE (ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ғɪʟɪᴘɪɴᴏ-ғʀᴇɴᴄʜ ᴡᴇᴅᴅɪɴɢ)

image grabbed from sodahead.com

When I started this blog it was just really to free myself from boredom.  I remember I was actually trying to figure my life out and I was lonely.  I love writing, I wanna do it when I'm sad, when I'm happy, when I'm lonely, when I'm upset or even when I'm confused (and because of that I don't always post what I write).  While I love sharing my ideas I also don't want people to read five paragraphs of ranting especially when the reason is kind of personal.  I don't post a lot in this blog but I love blogging.  Sometimes I just browse through my blog and enjoy what I've written.  If you read my blog title and description it's actually quite "general", it's just about sharing my thoughts, experiences and all.  However, when I started posting my experiences about my interracial wedding process this blog became a sort of "reference" to some couples going through the same thing.  I've been receiving some comments or questions every now and then which I gladly answer.

I'm gonna have to take you back to when my husband and I decided to tie the knots.  Normally, getting married isn't a very complicated process unless your case is a little out-of-the-ordinary.  I say out-of-the-ordinary for us due to our different nationalities.  We were scouting for information because there was no one to ask.  We didn't have any idea about the legal procedures in getting married, none of us have done it before and he's French while I'm a Filipino so non of our family or friends would know how we'd go about it.  The only thing we knew that time was that we were determined to SAY YES to forever, if you think about it that's the most important thing, of course!  But the road to saying yes wasn't that easy to find.  We both did some research, I asked around some married friends how they did it because even if none of them had married a French husband I was sure that there must be something "generic" about getting married, some common things to do in getting married in the Philippines whether both of you are Filipinos or not.  My husband on the other hand spent a lot of time searching for some information on the internet, making some phone calls, asking questions, sending emails, contacting his embassy etc...  Then he found some very interesting blogs describing the process while I also found some discussion boards talking about the same things.  After all the time consuming (yet worth every second) process, we were able to say our YESes and I thought to myself, it's actually a good idea to write down all the things that we did because one day when we get the chance the read them then we can say "oh wow!  We did all that?".  And besides, my writing about our experience might actually help other people too like those blogs we've read did to us.

So I did it and true enough, few months later I've received some comments and questions about what I've written.  I know how it feels like to be in the clouds and just not to know how to go about certain legal procedures so I actually have the sympathy to these people asking me questions.  However, at one point something bothered me and when I shared it to my husband he shares the same sentiments and his reaction was even stronger than mine.  I have received some questions from some women asking me for some clarifications about the information that I have written because they want to marry their French boyfriend who they will meet for the first time.  At first I was hesitant to answer their questions because I was thinking "how can you decide to marry someone you haven't really been with yet, physically?" but then I said, that's their problem right there because when I was scouting for information the last thing I wanted was for someone to question my intentions and my decisions.  But to be clear on the matter, my husband and I didn't get married the first nor the second time we actually met each other.  This might not be really important to some people, you know, getting married the first time you are actually with the person but it is important for us.  Well, we all have our stories and our circumstances, the most important thing is that we are happy with our decisions because in the end it's us who live our lives not the spectators around us.

Now, I'm just glad I can help and I pray that these people (mostly women) who ask me for some information about the wedding process (between a Filipino and a French national) are actually marrying for the right reasons because France is a very far place to end up with the wrong person and it's not easy to be struggling marital issues when you don't have family and friends to run to.  Thankfully I have been very lucky and blessed with the man I have married but I have also met some foreign women here who come from far away places too and who haven't been as lucky and to be honest they are in a pretty nasty situation especially those who have a hard time in speaking the French language.  So, ask away if you have some questions and I'd still be glad to answer them if it is of my knowledge but before you plan on saying yes to someone try to know the person as much as possible and if you have a doubt then take that doubt seriously because you should know the depth of the water before you take the plunge.  I hate the idea of being one of the factors (even the smallest factor) on how you got into a possible unwanted situation.

Vivre en France (Living in France)

Sorry, it's been a while since my last entry.  So much to do, so little time.  I feel bad about not being able to write often however there are only twenty-four hours in a day and sometimes they just seem not to be enough.  After our moving from Martinique around the second quarter of last year we haven't stopped having "things to do".  When we got here in the metropolis we had to settle down and our flat badly needed some important renovations.  Now we're settled and are almost done with the renovations so we got a little time to breathe and some time for me to write too!

I have been living in France since 2012 but we were in Martinique (a french island in the Caribbean) so it was a different experience.  In this post I will be talking about living in a part of France in Europe, the France that most people know.

I saw a glimpse of the metropolis when I arrived in 2012.  Just a glimpse because the next day after our arrival (I arrived in France with my husband) we had to take another flight to the Caribbean.  This time it's a bit more than a glimpse.  We landed in Paris on a hot summer day of August.  My heavy heart from leaving our island paradise was lifted when I saw the "civilization" and the new things in it.  We stayed on vacation for a little over a week in Senlis at my brother-in-law's flat, not so far from Paris.  I loved the laid back environment of Senlis and Chantilly (the city next to Senlis) but I also loved the excitement when we visited Paris.

After the quick vacation, it's back to reality for us; we hit the road again for a long way to Brest, a city located in the northwestern part of France.  This is wear my husband comes from and this is where our flat is, this is yet again another "home".  

In Europe, the first thing that someone from a tropical place would find weird would most probably be seeing the sun at night during summer.  Yes, for days I felt disoriented with time, it takes a while to get used to bright nights.  After being lucky to have had a transition in Martinique after leaving the Philippines I got another luck with the seasonal transition too.  We arrived on a summer so I was able to gradually feel the temperature as the seasons change. Since it's my first time living in a place with four seasons, each day brings me a surprise.  I spent a very beautiful summer.  I loved picking black berries and seashells and I loved walking in the parks too but sun bathing was one thing I didn't enjoy so much.  The water in Europe remains too cold for me even on a summer.  I didn't like going to the beach, staying  under the sun and not being able to get into the water when it felt a little too hot.  

Then came autumn.  I find this season very beautiful too.  I saw the leaves of the trees change colors, from green to yellow to gold and lastly to brown before the all eventually fell.  One day we were on the road and I was awestruck!  It was magical seeing a very colorful forest on a mountain and right on top was a line of windmills.  It was one of the most beautiful views I have seen in my life so far.  Then the wind started to feel a little chilly especially at dusk and the sunsets were no longer as late and flowers started to stop blooming.

The temperature continued dropping and then came winter.  We started having sleet storms every now and then.  I remember the first time I saw a sleet storm I was so amazed that I even took a video.  But of course!  This is something that never happens in my tropical home.  In some places winter can be harsh but fortunately not in this part of France.  If you look at the map you'll see that we are one of those lucky places who got the most elevated temperature for the season.  However, though we got the elevated temperature it is still winter and I am still an islander so the cold still bites.  Thankfully my husband got me prepared for the season, he got me my first winter clothes and though winter is considered negative by some, for me it remains interesting.  It's very nice and exciting wearing winter clothes because again it's something new for me.  The cold weather is painful but as long as you are warmly clothed then you're good to go!  I love it when it's cold and sunny, they call it here "froid et sec" which literally means "cold and dry".  The cold air feels so nice on the face and you still feel warm inside with the help of your winter coat, leather gloves and boots.   

Aside from the weather, the way of life here is completely different too but as a Filipino this doesn't bother me.  We Filipinos are known to be flexible and are easily able cope up with changes no matter what they are.  Living here has made me realize a lot of good things about my country, good things that we most of the time just take for granted because for us "it's nothing but normal".  I'm talking about the simple things like always having someone to ask when we are shopping for example.  Here, they don't have as much employees as in our country because the salary is too high so sometimes you find yourself in a situation where you badly need help but there's no one around.  Either you continue with your shopping or just leave the shop and try finding what you need somewhere else, thus leaving you a bit frustrated.  Another good example is having someone to pack your groceries for you.  Back home if we go grocery shopping we take the cart, pick what we need or what we want, place them on the counter and pay.  We don't touch our groceries after we place them on the counter, in most cases, each cashier is paired with a friendly and helpful "bagger", the one who will pack your things carefully in shopping bags and even take them to the parking if you wish.  Whereas here, you do everything yourself, at some grocery stores you even do the job of the cashier and you bring your own shopping bags otherwise you'll pay for them.  Then if we need fuel for our cars we just stop in a service station, wait for the "gasoline boy" to fill our tank and then pay.  This isn't the case here.  Here it's automated, there is no "gasoline boy" so you stop and turn off your engine, get out of your car, fill the tank yourself and pay using your card, get back in and go.  These are just some of the things that we take for granted which we'll appreciate once we see how these people live without "our conveniences".

Now let's talk about food.  It'll be in a general manner though, I'll be writing another post for details.  Contrary to what most Filipinos think, French people are rice eaters too but not in the same quantity that we do, way far from that (with my husband as an exemption because he always claims to be a Filipino).  Here they eat potatoes almost as much as we eat rice.  I say almost because breakfast is already out of the equation.  I'm a good eater but there are some French foods that I just can't eat like "cuisses de grenouille"  (frog legs) and "les escargots" (snails).  Otherwise, I can eat most of the foods on the table.  Though my husband isn't a cheese eater he still lets me taste them and frankly, yes they do smell bad and some people say that the more they stink the tastier they get.  Well, thanks but no thanks because I could never get myself eat a really strong odored cheese, especially goat cheese.  One day I tried eating a goat cheese and I really couldn't help but puke (excuse me for the detail).  I looked after a few goats as a kid and eating the goat cheese was like being in front of a male goat, the smell was too strong and I just couldn't find something good neither in the texture nor in the taste but at least I tried.  Then about the meat, they are more diverse here.   Most people eat beef, veal, pork and lamb.  Back home we are more into pork, beef and rarely goat back in the countryside where I come from and where my parents still live.  France is so famous with their best quality meat and our butcher is one of the best butchers of the country so I can really attest to this!  Then they  have the "charcuterie" (a branch of cooking devoted for meat products like ham, sausages and the like), the "pâtisserie" (a type of bakery specializing in pastries and sweets), "les bon vins" (the good wines) and other kinds of alcohol like pastis (anise based) cognac (brandy) and armagnac (brandy).  I am not a liqueur specialist so I may have missed out on some other liqueurs that can be found in France.  Lastly, they have the desserts to die for!  The best cake I have tasted (in my life, so far) was in Chantilly during our vacation.  There are a lot of good foods here so like I've said I'll write a separate post for them.

So far I am enjoying our stay here in the metropolis despite the new adjustments that I had to make.  I find it more interesting than my husband because I didn't grow up here.  One thing I love too is how people treat me or how people see me.  In Martinique people were looking at me differently, probably because there are not a lot of Asians there, unlike here where you often see Asians almost everywhere you go.  Here we also have the convenience of having almost everything just near by, needless to drive for a long time to go grocery shopping, see the doctor or go to the pharmacy.  My husband had chosen really well when he bought this flat.  

Since I have married a very good guide then yes, I've already seen a lot of beautiful places in Bretagne (our region).  I have seen many beautiful ancient churches, historical places, the beautiful coasts and landscapes of Bretagne.  If you get the chance to travel to France, aside from visiting Paris you should also try visiting this region.  Trust me you'll never regret it and people here are kind and warmer too!  

All in all, I can say: La France est franchement très jolie!!!

Chateau de Chantilly

la Crêperie Blé Noir - Bois de Keroual

Château de Brest

Concarneau 

St Renan

Palourde farcies

mûre

Heartbroken

The news won't get better anytime soon.  As a Filipino away from my homeland it always breaks my heart to see my country suffer from one calamity to another.  Lately, on international news television channels you see the Philippines not with its beautiful beaches anymore but with ruined buildings, flashed houses, flooded streets, dead bodies, debris everywhere and all other horrible and unimaginable things.  Watching the news has become so hard and painful.  My country, my poor country is being crumpled.  

The Visayas, where I come from, has just suffered from a very strong earthquake few weeks back and now suffering from the aftermath of one of the strongest typhoons to make landfall on earth.  I feel very helpless and yes, sometimes I do question why the Philippines, where people don't have so much?  But this should not be the question to ask.  No country deserves to be hit by any calamities.  It is by nature to have some storms.  Natural disasters happen everywhere; rich country, poor country, it doesn't matter, a disaster is still a disaster.  Now instead of asking "why the Philippines?" I instead thought, why are we not prepared enough?  Why don't we have strong, decent houses?  Why don't we have enough search and rescue/retrieval equipment?  In my country we pay taxes too.  Taxes that should have been used for:  fixing our roads, fixing our drainage systems, educating our people so we can have the chance to improve our lives and thus provide our family with a safe and decent home, having decent and fully-equipped hospitals, fire stations and other public necessities.  Well, these are just some of the many things that our taxes should have been used for but no it does not happen that way.  Corruption is a huge problem in my country.  While a part of the country is suffering from the ruins of the strong earthquake, the senate (located in the capital, Manila) is busy for one of the most important trials of the nation, which of course concerns a huge CORRUPTION CASE concerning billions of tax payers' money.  It's a pity and a shame at the same time.  I am very proud to be a Filipino, so proud of where I come from but so ashamed that we have this bad and corrupt system.

I have lived a very traumatic experience in November 1990 when we were hit by a very strong typhoon locally named "Ruping" and internationally called "Mike".  I was just a little girl but I remember the dark night, the very strong wind, the rain which felt like thousands of sands when they hit my skin (it was so painful), the crawling in the middle of the night for survival, the cold, the shaking and breaking of our house and the houses of our neighbors and then the "rebuilding our house and recovering our farms" phase.  It was horrible and when I saw the news about the coming of that typhoon Yolanda I couldn't help but feel the fear, remember all the trauma that I had and fear for my family and friends' safety.  Thankfully we have the new technology now which make us able to communicate with our love ones almost instantaneously.  The same technology making people now more aware of how strong an upcoming storm can be.  

I am enormously thankful and glad that my family and friends are doing well in Cebu but still heartbroken to see and know that not everyone can say the same thing.  I am so afraid to know that a friend or someone I know have lost a family or a home due to that storm but the possibility is so huge because I know a number of people who come from the most devastated areas.  I feel for the people who lost their love ones, their friends and what they have tried to build all their lives.  I am very happy and humbled to see the outpouring of international helps and the volunteers trying to help the victims as fast as they can but at the same time I am hoping and praying that "THE HELP" will really be used as it should be and will be distributed fairly. Knowing my country, sadly, I can say that we really need a touch of miracle when it comes to money and aide distribution.