Pᴀɴᴅᴏʀᴀ's Bᴏx Rᴇᴄᴏᴠᴇʀᴇᴅ

Since my Sony Ericsson Walkman phone got busted I no longer have accessed this blogger ccount and I just kind of never thought about it until yesterday when I felt the urge to really have a blog..lol.. Anyhow, I'm glad that I still recovered this inactive account.

Now, I feel like I need to update this i-diary. I felt like not being fair to "happiness" because when I was sad I could write everyday to help me cope with my emotions and all the issues going on inside me. So, so much with the drama...let's go with my joy this time.

After the feeling of being lost for some years here comes the time when I feel rejuvenated. I've waited for this moment like "forever". I remember my younger brother told me when I was crying and feeling so down and depressed to the bones that "this too will pass". That wasn't a new line, heard it many times in my literature classes back in college but it didn't mean a thing to me. When I was down that line was just too impossible but it did pass. Looking back gives me not much pain anymore, it gives me more learning and understanding to His Will.

Once I wrote that I was in a certain "cycle of madness". I was too angry and bitter then and I just hated God so much that I couldn't bare going to church for a Sunday mass. Then came a time that I felt so ashamed of such action. My life is still not perfect and I'm not expecting it to be but things are going on smoothly. I realized that God gave me such sorrow to make me appreciate "happiness" even more. No one have the wisdom to understand His Will and there are still so many things that I don't understand but faith is very important. The trouble, the pain, the agony, the suffering gets doubled if a man has no faith and I've experienced it.

I still have so many dreams that are yet to happen. I hope I'd be strong enough to face the trials that I have to pass to reach them.

I hate to admit it but I am so dependent on certain things. There are blessed people who are just happy and contented being alone and loved by their families and friends, apparently I'm not one of the blessed. I needed someone to love me, value me and respect me the way leading ladies in romantic movies and stories are loved, valued and respected. I couldn't help it. I was too impatient and after one failed relationship to another I then doubted God's love which was so wrong I know.

This time, God sent me a very special gift and showed me a living miracle in the presence of this man. No he's not a prince nor a geek with hidden super powers, he is just one ordinary man who knows how to love me in an extraordinary way. I can't seem to explain it in words but things just feel so right even from the start. It took me some time to believe in happiness again. It took me some time to get back to my feet because I couldn't do it alone. He picked me up and held my hand till I'm back on track.

Cheers to the future!!! If I could talk to God, I'm gonna ask him more strength to take whatever He has for me tomorrow. Now that I'm happy the wheel of life won't stop turning, I wish I will be prepared when things go down. Just like the Pandora's Box, I recovered my faith too.