Heartbroken

The news won't get better anytime soon.  As a Filipino away from my homeland it always breaks my heart to see my country suffer from one calamity to another.  Lately, on international news television channels you see the Philippines not with its beautiful beaches anymore but with ruined buildings, flashed houses, flooded streets, dead bodies, debris everywhere and all other horrible and unimaginable things.  Watching the news has become so hard and painful.  My country, my poor country is being crumpled.  

The Visayas, where I come from, has just suffered from a very strong earthquake few weeks back and now suffering from the aftermath of one of the strongest typhoons to make landfall on earth.  I feel very helpless and yes, sometimes I do question why the Philippines, where people don't have so much?  But this should not be the question to ask.  No country deserves to be hit by any calamities.  It is by nature to have some storms.  Natural disasters happen everywhere; rich country, poor country, it doesn't matter, a disaster is still a disaster.  Now instead of asking "why the Philippines?" I instead thought, why are we not prepared enough?  Why don't we have strong, decent houses?  Why don't we have enough search and rescue/retrieval equipment?  In my country we pay taxes too.  Taxes that should have been used for:  fixing our roads, fixing our drainage systems, educating our people so we can have the chance to improve our lives and thus provide our family with a safe and decent home, having decent and fully-equipped hospitals, fire stations and other public necessities.  Well, these are just some of the many things that our taxes should have been used for but no it does not happen that way.  Corruption is a huge problem in my country.  While a part of the country is suffering from the ruins of the strong earthquake, the senate (located in the capital, Manila) is busy for one of the most important trials of the nation, which of course concerns a huge CORRUPTION CASE concerning billions of tax payers' money.  It's a pity and a shame at the same time.  I am very proud to be a Filipino, so proud of where I come from but so ashamed that we have this bad and corrupt system.

I have lived a very traumatic experience in November 1990 when we were hit by a very strong typhoon locally named "Ruping" and internationally called "Mike".  I was just a little girl but I remember the dark night, the very strong wind, the rain which felt like thousands of sands when they hit my skin (it was so painful), the crawling in the middle of the night for survival, the cold, the shaking and breaking of our house and the houses of our neighbors and then the "rebuilding our house and recovering our farms" phase.  It was horrible and when I saw the news about the coming of that typhoon Yolanda I couldn't help but feel the fear, remember all the trauma that I had and fear for my family and friends' safety.  Thankfully we have the new technology now which make us able to communicate with our love ones almost instantaneously.  The same technology making people now more aware of how strong an upcoming storm can be.  

I am enormously thankful and glad that my family and friends are doing well in Cebu but still heartbroken to see and know that not everyone can say the same thing.  I am so afraid to know that a friend or someone I know have lost a family or a home due to that storm but the possibility is so huge because I know a number of people who come from the most devastated areas.  I feel for the people who lost their love ones, their friends and what they have tried to build all their lives.  I am very happy and humbled to see the outpouring of international helps and the volunteers trying to help the victims as fast as they can but at the same time I am hoping and praying that "THE HELP" will really be used as it should be and will be distributed fairly. Knowing my country, sadly, I can say that we really need a touch of miracle when it comes to money and aide distribution.

A Filipina in Madinina (Martinique)

As I am writing this we still have one more month to enjoy here in Martinique but our internet connection is only up until today.  We prefer to stop it a month earlier than having it done at the last minute, we don't want to have more stress and any possible problems coming because as we know these companies would always want us to continue our business relationship even if at times it's completely just not possible.

It has been a very colorful one year and a couple of months and a perfect transition for me from the Philippines to France.  In a month we'll be in Brest and a lot of people are so negative about it because they say it's cold, there's no sun, we can't go to the beach etc...okay they may be right but if I focus on the negative things I'll be very sad and it won't help the situation at all.  On the positive note I'll be discovering France and perhaps some parts of Europe with Fabrice, I'll be seeing a lot of new things, tasting a lot of new foods, experiencing a completely new culture and be eight hours nearer the Philippines.  It will be a completely different world and to be honest yes I am a little afraid and worried because it means adjusting to a lot of new things again but at least now I can say I can speak French in a fairly well level.  Many people had been telling me scary things about the weather of where we will live but what can I do?  Since the beginning I knew that my husband didn't come from a tropical place and besides as one martiniquaise told us, "avec l'amour tout va" which means "with love every thing's gonna be okay".  It's a very good statement which is for sure gonna stay in our hearts and she is totally right.

I love Martinique!  Before knowing my husband I never knew where on earth is this place, never even heard of it, of course I have heard about the Caribbean but I just really didn't care knowing where in the world it is.  Then God gave me the chance not just to know where it is but to live in this "paradise".  It still amazes me how a lot of things are the same here from my own Cebu like the fruits, foods, trees and animals even if it is twenty-three hours by plane plus the airport waiting times and transfers.  It is a pretty long way from home but I never feel so far however my health had been reacting weirdly with my adjustment.  We have the same insects but my skin reaction to my insect bites here are so bad I have to take some strong medicines and live with a lot of scars which hopefully will be erased with time. 

Martinique is a very beautiful island.  I have met many people here who say they don't like being here yet they stay.  They don't like the island because while they are here they decide to just stay in their apartment and long for their own big city.  If I had the same lifestyle as these people I would perhaps have the same feeling but luckily God gave me a husband who shows me the best in whichever world we are in.  I have done a lot of beautiful trekkings in this island where the views are breathtaking!  Unfortunately I have met people who are not so nice too, like anywhere else in the world but I will never forget all the kindness that I have seen and experienced either.  When you are in a place where the only family you have is your husband and the only one he got is you then even the simplest act of kindness will be appreciated. 

In the Philippines our skin colors are so mixed as well, even in my family I already see the difference but it is in Martinique where I have met really black skinned people and see their beauty up close.  Here I have also met and talked to a lot of different people from different walks of life and different cultures.  I have seen the kindness and the brilliance of a person no matter which country he or she comes from and so as the stupidity.  I have seen vast cultural differences and even wonder how these people see me and see the Philippines in me.

In this island I experience being far from my family for the first time and started living and enjoying my married life with my husband, my new family.  I have found some new friends and met a lot of interesting people.  We have made a lot of beautiful memories here and whenever we feel cold in the the metropolis of France I hope these memories will help us feel warm every once in a while.

I will miss this island and will forever keep a very special place for it in my heart, and by the way, I have also confirmed that Martinique which former name is Madinina is really the island of flowers.  I have seen it change its color from yellow, to pink, to red, to green, to orrange, to brown and then back to yellow again....simply beautiful!  When I was a kid, I already saw this place in my imagination where the fields are green, the birds are not afraid of being shot, the animals are fat and healthy and the fruits and flowers don't stop blooming.  I am so lucky and thankful that God gave me the chance to live a dream-kind of life.

Les Papayers, Anse à l'ane, Les Trios Ilets, Martinique

Parlez-vous Français?

I'm already on my fourth month in learning French here in France.  When I was still in Cebu I started learning French at Alliance Française de Cebu (which is a very good French school and cultural center) and thankfully I did it because here they are not teaching the basic of the basics, they are teaching us conversational french directly.  For some it's more effective but not for me, had I not taken my basics in Cebu I would surely be messing out on my language lessons here. 

Learning a new language is no joke at all, thankfully I'm a Filipino and we are known to learn a new language more quickly than others.  I have always hated grammar even if I graduated BSED-English and this has been a continued frustration but now it's the grammar and the pronunciation that bugs me.  Luckily the French accent and the Cebuano accent have something in common "pinagahi ug pinabundak dili pinalumoy parehas sa Tagalog" so I'm not struggling so much with the accent. 

Sometimes it really gets to the point of being tiring and boring to go to school every working day of the week but I must really drag my ass since I have and want to speak their language.  In the beginning it was just for the papers, I go to school because it's obligatory but as time goes by I see its importance more clearly.  Now that I can speak french (un petit peu - a little bit) at least I won't be depending on my husband with even as simple as buying une baguette or un croissant.  I always see to it that everyday I make as much effort as I can because it is very frustrating to have a lot of ideas in your head that you can hardly convey because you can't speak fluently or correctly yet.

French is my fourth language since my mother tongue is Cebuano or Visayan and I can also speak Tagalog and English which are my country's official languages, so this makes me a polyglot which actually makes me smile because I never realised it until recently when my teacher told me so.  Languages are very interesting.  Everyday I hear at least six different languages in school; French, English, Russian, Spanish, Creole and Chinese.  There are a lot of Hispanophones here in Martinique and it's funny because I can understand some of their words, it really amazes me.  My favourite so far is Russian.  They sound so nice, complicated, hard yet interesting and I love the accent however learning one very difficult language is enough for now. 

In the French educational system they are given the chance to learn either Spanish, German or English when they are in high school.  I hope one day these options will be available in the Philippine educational system as well, with the exception of English of course because it's already our official language.  It can be nice if the next generations will have the basic skills in speaking either of the following; French, Spanish, German, Arabic and -why not- Chinese or Japanese since these languages are most used all over the world.  Now that we, Filipinos, can speak excellent English we already have the edge compared to our neighbouring Asian countries, how much more if we speak one of these other major languages?  I know I'm dreaming but it is, I suppose, indeed a very good idea.

For now, I can't help but feel proud about myself, in the end it's all gonna be worth it.  Now I can already engage in a conversation, of course it's not yet perfect but I feel more at ease compared to when I just arrived.  I can understand more as well but I always strive for more.  I really hope that one day I will be able to perfect my French, in God's grace.  ^^,

To those who are also learning a new language, keeping a positive attitude in learning is very important.  I did some dramas in the beginning, I cried out of frustration when my husband corrects me or when I make a careless mistake.  Every now and then I still feel frustrated but it is just a part of the process.  Sometimes it just gets a little harder and sometimes we are just not in the mood for it. 

I humbly include herewith, an example of my work in school which I wrote for my best friend.  We were asked to write to someone close to us about an unforgettable encounter that we had.  I'm gonna write it exactly like how I did on my paper and if interests you, feel free to use an on line translator (:

Chère Lorin,

J'éspere que tu vas bien.  En ce qui me concerne je vais toujours à l'ècole pour les cours de français mais parfois nous sommes aussi en vancances.  Je vais te racontrer nos vacances à Grand-Rivière.

Nous avions passé un long week-end là-bas, nous étions à l'hôtel "Chez Tante Arlette".  C'étais très sympa mais la première nuit j'étais malade et il n'y avais pas ni hôpital, ni pharmacie.  Heureusment, que Tante Arlette et sa fille Karine, les proprietaires, étaient très gentilles.  Elles m'ont donné des medicaments, je me senti mieux le lendemain matin et j'étais capable de faire une randonnée de 18km.  Je n'oublierai jamais leurs gentillesse ce la m'a beaucoup touché.  Je vais t'envoyer les photo bientôt.

Je t'embrasse...

Sheryl