This cold February morning is numbing my skin. And the rain just seem to keep on reminding me of my cold, lonely and bitter heart. I don’t know what got into me recently but I just felt so much of this nothingness. Felt like I seem to almost let go of a hope which I’ve been keeping for quite a while now.
I am so afraid with this feeling. Hopelessness is one of the worst things to happen to a man because that’s just the same as giving up. I haven’t given up in a certain situation or a certain person without having given a good fight for what I want to happen and what I know is best. Now, I’ve once again been so passive with everything going on and I’ve been here before..not even so long ago that was yet here I am again.
It’s crazy how things are sometimes. One day we’re happy, the next day we’re miserable. One day we get lucky, the next day we just seem to be in a series of unfortunate events “so they say”. From being happy we sometimes forget all the other kinds of emotions there exist and though we sure had been stung by a bee yet we still get surprised for the pain the next time it happens. There are people like myself sometimes, who feel guilty when I’m happy because I know sure as hell that there’s a lot of unhappy people around me for whatever reason there may be. Sometimes fun and joy also makes other people anticipate that there’s gonna be a quick turn of events, some kind of bad luck or ugly situation might happen which would cause you pain and sorrow.
For some, these kinds of cycle have been too quick to happen yet for others they take years. They get happy, felt sad the next day, then alone and miserable, and then they felt empty, found the meaning of existence again and so on and so forth. There are people -unkind- people, sometimes they are even those what we call “friends” who would blame us for not being able to leap to the next cycle too quick without minding the fact that we don’t always get a hold of everything that’s going on in our lives.
slg
